79. Loudmouth (Empathy, Lent 20)

79 LOUD

Due to energy issues, I speak even more quietly than I used to when I was younger, and have often had to resort to whispering. I even lost my voice for a whole six months during a bad stage of the illness. For me, people who shout everything, INCLUDING ON SOCIAL MEDIA WHERE THEY CONSTANTLY USE CAPITAL LETTERS as though everything they have to say is much too important for the lower case, are tough to understand. I will try, today, though….

IF I DON’T SHOUT NO-ONE WILL TAKE ANY NOTICE. THERE IS NO POINT WITTERING ON QUIETLY IN OUR HOUSE, YOU WILL BE IGNORED. A FEW CHOICE WORDS WILL DO VERY WELL, AND THE LOUDER YOU ARE, THE MORE LIKELY YOU WILL BE HEARD OVER THE DIN. I DON’T THINK ABOUT IT. I’M NOT LOUD,OTHER PEOPLE ARE QUIET. I STAND IN THE STREET AND TALK, I DON’T THINK ABOUT WHO CAN HEAR ME. I’VE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE. WHAT YOU HEAR IS WHAT YOU GET. MAYBE I’M LONGING TO EXPRESS THOUGHTS THAT WON’T COME QUIETLY. MAYBE I NEED AS MUCH ATTENTION AS I CAN GET BECAUSE WHEN I WAS SMALL THERE WAS NONE TO BE HAD AND I DON’T WANT TO RISK BEING IGNORED ANY MORE. IF I CAN SAY IT FIRST AND LOUD ENOUGH, MAYBE I’M TOP DOG. MAYBE I’M THE LEADER NOW INSTEAD OF THE RUNT. MAYBE THIS WAY I CAN GET IT THROUGH TO PEOPLE THAT I MATTER.

Photo and text © Keren Dibbens-Wyatt 2017

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