As someone with almost zero energy (due to a chronic illness), it is a mystery to me how some people can buzz around doing so much. Sometimes I find it tempting to be envious, when they have a million and one things done by the end of the day, and I’m so exhausted and in pain that I haven’t even managed to get dressed.
So today I will use my contemplative eye to imagine how it feels to be like that.
A list as long as your arm and I’m up and bouncing, with or without caffeine, at 7am. So much to do! It is not that I like rushing, particularly, sometimes I’d like to sit and concentrate on something for more than five minutes, without my body twitching and my mind itching to be off to the next thing. Sometimes I look at the quiet ones and the thinkers, and wonder what it’s like to be so seemingly serene. Calm oases for me are still full of chatter: mealtimes, catching up with friends or family, but it feeds my batteries. I love being with people. My big heart enjoys hearing about their days, and I make sure I do everything I can to help them get what they need. I take pride in being capable, I’m a stickler for cleanliness and I live my life to the full. I overflow with kindness and giving of my ability to get things done. I can’t be doing with lazing around, sitting still, being quiet. Who wants to do that? I’d much rather be zipping along, walking the dogs, teaching, ferrying the old people and the kids about, listening to their woes, giving advice, I am giving cheer wherever I go and at the end of the day I can sigh, smile and be glad that I achieved so much. I fall into a deep sleep and look forward to everything I can get done tomorrow.
And oh, how we need people like this, the doers, the ones we can trust to get things sorted out. I find interactions exhausting and I am grateful that there are people who find them exhilarating, and who can drive here and there and be relied upon for so many important tasks. And if they enjoy it, so much the better. This is not what I am like at all, and though I long to get lots done, now I’ve looked at it in this way, I feel easier about my difference, and more grateful to the “busy bees” I know.
Photo and text © Keren Dibbens-Wyatt 2017