Tag Archives: prayer

Lent 5

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This tide is what pulls us in, draws us like a magnet, to the Centre, when we truly pray. Once it has held you, you remain enraptured for the rest of your life and susceptible to its call. It will call you from the perfection of a flower or the drama of a high note quivering in the air on a soprano’s breath. You will recognise it more and more often, for it is the call of home.

Photo and text © Keren Dibbens-Wyatt 2018

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Lent 4

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When we receive as Manna a foretaste of heaven, we are still unsatisfied, because we want immediate gratification, immediate perfection, and instead we have to scrape our food off the desert floor. Bent down with our noses to the ground, we quickly become tired of the same fare, even when it tastes of heaven.

Photo and text © Keren Dibbens-Wyatt 2018

55. Prayer (potential)

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Prayer took me in an unexpected direction today, as it quite often does. There’s not really much point having expectations beyond meeting with God, really, as every time is different.

Some people begin their prayer lives (myself included) by treating time with God like prayer is a wish list, or worse, as though he were a one-armed bandit, with us pulling the lever and hoping some kind of reward will be forthcoming, if we stand there long enough.

But as we come to know God, we learn that presenting our requests is fine and often necessary, soul searching comes frequently, as it did today, but that nestling into his heart is better. Prayer can become almost anything: tears; ministrations; lament; praise; thankfulness; instruction; petition; intercession; contemplation; listening; singing….. it is one of the most potent “potentials” there is.

Photo and text © Keren Dibbens-Wyatt 2017

33. Dragonflies (hope)

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This is a close-up of my next prayer journal. My husband bought it for me for Christmas. Dragonflies are a favourite symbol of mine, not just because of their beauty and speed, but because they hover over the water, and skim between two worlds, and this is, in some senses, the very definition of the mysticism I love and breathe. To have them depicted on my next book where I’ll continue recording the love relationship between God and I, and the seeings he gives me, is very precious indeed, and the thought of all those conversations to come gives me hope for the future, even on a dark, gloomy day.

Photo and text © Keren Dibbens-Wyatt 2017

 

Veil of Tears 108: Wrestling

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So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.” Genesis 32:24 NIV

Wrestling was quite popular in the UK when I was small. Giant Haystacks and Big Daddy were what passed as celebrities back then, which really just meant they got to open supermarkets and appear on Tiswas. They seemed like gentle, wobbly giants to me, and whilst partly staged, the matches were not at all like the colourful over-the-top theatre that we now see in the WWF so popular in the States.

Wrestling with ourselves and with God often seems less dramatic than you might imagine as well. It can feel dark and lonely, those long nights where you are not sure if you are in a half Nelson with yourself or your maker. Where you are so tired, so worn out by the fight, that your aching spiritual muscles don’t know if they can take the stretched pain any more. And at the end, when day finally breaks, you may be left unsure if you have encountered God or not, unsure what his parting words may mean, and finding yourself with a lifelong limp for your troubles.

But to be sure, every genuine and determined seeker after the heart of God will experience such troubles. We will wrestle with our conscience, with our desires, with our ideas about who God is, and perhaps most of all with our egos.

And whilst we sit and lick our wounds, or nurse our confusion, or feel the dull ache in our thigh, we may find we too have come out of the other side of the night with a new name, a reconciliation on the horizon, and a new identity as an overcomer. Interestingly, it is our ability to overcome which is also the reason we are given new names by Jesus in Revelation.

Might our new names be fit for celebrity wrestlers, I wonder? But the ring in which we continue at times to struggle has no cameras, no bunting or fans, no glitter-spangled leotards (thank God), no energy for chutzpah. Instead it is endurance, sticking it out, holding on in the dark, keeping the faith, hoping against hope for our blessings when life has bodyslammed all the wind out of us, these are the ways to real victory, though the fight takes its toll and the dawn light may at first seem cold.

 

©Keren Dibbens-Wyatt

Photo from Pixabay